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Friday, February 10, 2017

Flirting With the Truth

“A friend is someone who knows all about you and still loves you.”- Elbert Hubbard 

Valentines day is almost upon us, so I’d like to take the opportunity to mention a few  things about dating and image.

The first thing to remember is that within the first 7 seconds of meeting you for the first time we humans make a number of assumptions- completely subconsciously, by the way. We decide how smart, trustworthy, and well educated you are. We decide what sort of socio-economic background you have, what your sexual orientation is, and how much money you make. These are just a few of the presumptions we make. As I’m fond of pointing out, it may be the case that none of the assumptions based solely on your appearance, are true. 

This goes to show how important it is to pay attention to what your image says about you- obviously this is true for the dating scene as well. But I think the issue of authenticity might be even more important when it comes to dating. 

If you’re not rich yet dress as if you are, then you’re not being authentic. If your image is that of someone who’s a sensitive artist yet you never engage in any creative activity, then that’s misleading. If you present yourself as the stable, monogamous type but you date lots of people at once, that’s a lie. I’m not suggesting there’s anything wrong with being any of those things- rich or poor, creative or not, monogamous or promiscuous; the problem is when you present yourself as something that you’re not, especially when it comes to dating. When someone invests time and emotion in a person who turns out later to be other than what they originally presented themselves as, it can lead to some pretty bitter disappointment, disillusionment, even distrust or anger. When we let someone in emotionally it becomes more important to be able to trust what we think we’re investing that precious intimacy in. 

If you make a point to be conscious of making sure that what your image conveys is consistent with who you are, and you know what colors and design lines work best for you, you’re bound to present your best, most authentic self, and in the best light possible. Not only will you look your best, but you’ll get bonus points for honesty. Always good for a budding romance.

Call me to set up an appointment to help you find your best colors and design lines- Happy Dressing!

Thursday, February 2, 2017

Climbing Out of the Rut, or New Year, New You

“The only real battle in life is between hanging on and letting go.” 
― Shannon L. Alder

It’s the beginning of a new year, and some of us are contemplating or experiencing changes. And maybe we want or need to change our image. What if you’ve been in a rut for so long you don’t know where to begin? If so, here’s a path to find your way out of your rut. 

First, break it all down, very thoroughly and carefully. Be specific. 

What do you dislike about how you look?
What do you want to look like?
How will you do that?
What are you willing to commit to?

1. Decide what you don’t like, and what you want to change.
Really think about what you don’t like- write it down. Label it. If appropriate go into detail. Mind you, this isn’t an exercise in self flagellation- the object here is to become completely aware of what you don’t like about what your clothing and overall look projects, not yourself. Don’t berate your weight, your height, your hair, the size of your backside, etc. We need to love and respect the one and only body we were given to plod through this life in- we want to enhance it, not insult it. Now, what do you want-? Start with generalities; what would you like your image to evoke? What would be an authentic expression of your aesthetic? Get specific again, too- how would that translate to your wardrobe? Maybe your hair? Makeup? It’s better if you also know what colors and design lines flatter you, and can incorporate that as well. 

2. Be patient, plan carefully.
Be patient with this part of the process- take the time to figure out what would make you happy. Remember, this is one of the few areas of life where you really only have to consider yourself. Do what makes you happy. Consider your lifestyle and budget as well. If you have no idea what would make you happy, or how to express your aesthetic, then one good way to explore is to create a board or two (or twenty) on Pinterest, and spend a few minutes of free time every few days collecting images in your Pinterest boards, then go back and review what you have. You might be surprised to find much of the same stuff coming up over and over. Maybe an unexpected color, or texture or style. Maybe this should be up for consideration in your new wardrobe-? 

3. Start small, go slow, make necessary changes.
Ok, so you know what’s making you unhappy about your current appearance, and where you’d like to go with it. Now comes the action part. Since this is a new direction it pays to go slow by starting small. Don’t invest a lot of money to begin with - buy small and/or inexpensive versions until you’re sure it’s going to work for you. You might find a style you always wanted to try isn’t physically comfortable for you. Maybe you find a color you want isn’t suitable or you get really tired of it really quickly. Maybe you thought you were ‘mad for plaid’ and then decide one plaid item in your wardrobe is quite enough, thank you very much. Be prepared- things won’t always go how you imagined, you’ll goof, you’ll change your mind. If you haven’t invested much, then you’ll have explored without having lost much, and who knows- maybe it’ll lead you to something else completely perfect for you.

4. Go for the long haul.
Plan to be in this for the long haul. This is actually a lifelong process- we change how we dress for different phases of life, but this way you’ll be doing it consciously and with the intent to express yourself authentically and make yourself happy.  So, create the ‘new’ image you want for yourself, but think of it as being a process; you might say this is about creating more of your own ‘trend’ for a while to which certain variables come into play, then fade and are replaced, which are in turn eventually replaced, and so on. Just keep it fluid to allow for growth.

5. Have fun!
Remember that this is about you being happy with what you put on every day, knowing that you look great, and maintaining an efficient, effective and budget-friendly wardrobe. So have fun with it and make sure what you invest your time and money in pleases you. You can always call me to schedule consultations for color and design lines to ensure that your choices are always going to make you look your very best, each and every day. I also offer wardrobe analysis and personal shopping services. Call me and we’ll talk about what you want to do.

Happy dressing!