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Friday, March 22, 2013

Flawed Thinking

Flaw: Noun
1. A mark, fault, or other imperfection that mars a substance or object.

I can't think of one single book, article or blog on personal appearance advice that I've read that doesn't talk in terms of enhancing your 'assets' or 'best features' and hiding or camouflaging your 'flaws.'  I hate this way of thinking. It makes a straight up assumption that we are all flawed in some way. 

Thinking that what you find aesthetically unappealing about your body is somehow 'defective' is really quite presumptuous seeing as how our bodies house our souls through life. In short, you're lucky to have one- learn to appreciate it, and treat it with the respect it deserves. 

I also can't think of a single thing to be gained by calling parts of our body 'flawed.' It is what it is- calling short legs a flaw won't make them grow longer, change or improve anything in any way. Same with any proportion or feature. It simply serves no purpose to vilify any aspect of your body. No- that's not true- it serves to tear down your confidence every time you say or think it. 

So can we stop with this already?

Here's my solution. 

Instead of, for example, choosing black slacks or skirt, and a top with a v-neck with a pretty scarf or necklace to "draw attention to your best feature- your face, and camouflage your biggest flaws; too-wide hips and short legs" how about doing it just to "draw attention to your best feature- your face, and create visual balance with your figure." The only difference here is that I've left off the totally unnecessary and judgmental comment about the proportions of hips and legs. Same outcome, but a much nicer, kinder path. 

I know it sounds like a tiny, nit-picky thing to always be going on about, but I don't believe we're aware of how important what we say to and about ourselves is. I don't believe we're aware of how much of an impact it has on us over time, too. 

Awareness is always the first step. Then comes learning to correct yourself when you've said or thought something disrespectful towards your body. The payoff is not only immediate, but cumulative, too. Make it a rule to only be kind to yourself.

See, don't you feel better already?

Happy Dressing!