There are flowers everywhere, for those who bother to look.
This morning I got my hair cut and was chatting with the hairdresser. She was saying she wished she had blue or green eyes instead of brown- I said it doesn't matter in the slightest what color your eyes are, what makes someone attractive is making the most of what you've got, and being healthy. She laughed and said yes, it's really a matter of confidence. I hadn't thought of it as being about confidence, but of course that's the basis, isn't it?
People who have confidence tend to have an easier time expressing themselves aesthetically. They seem to telegraph that confidence- you can sense it without them ever opening up their mouth. Part of that may be because they don't care as much what others think of what they're wearing- they choose what they wear based on what they like rather than what they think others will like. That kind of confidence in and of itself is attractive.
The good news is that if you don't have that kind of confidence with clothes, you can develop it. It takes being conscious of your wardrobe, spending time shopping for it and caring for it. It means giving it the respect it deserves- not dismissing it (and yourself, in a way) by telling yourself it's not important, or that you don't want to be vain. It's not about vanity- it's about sending the message that you have self respect and expect others to treat you with respect as well. Its about consciously choosing colors and textures and designs that make you look great and feel happy. As I'm fond of saying, life is hard enough- grab what pleasure you can. And really- if you feel good about how you look it's going to boost your overall confidence.
The process isn't complicated. You simply spend the time thinking through what you want to wear- for that morning, the next day or the next week; really consider what you like, what appeals to you. If you find you're uncomfortable with something you're considering, ask yourself why- Is it because you feel like it's tacky, not age-appropriate, not your 'style,' or is it just because it's outside your usual comfort zone? Carefully consider each possibility. If it's just that it's outside your usual comfort zone, I'd suggest you commit to trying it once and see how it goes. Who knows- you might find it's something you like so much that it becomes one of your signature looks. Or it may lead you to something else that makes your life a better place. You may gain some real insight into your weaknesses, strengths and fears.
My point is simply that in order to visually 'read' as confident you may have to be willing to grow, and usually that means consciously making yourself step out of your current comfort zone. This is a fun area of life to do this in, anyway- it's all about instant gratification.
Let's see- makes you feel great, doesn't have to cost a lot, has no calories, and it's legal….
Does it get any better?