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Sunday, January 29, 2012

The Speeding Cow

“Scientists tell us that the fastest animal on earth, with a top speed of 120 feet per second, is a cow that has been dropped out of a helicopter.’ ~Dave Barry

Speed is lovely.  I know- I ride a motorcycle and am addicted to speed.  But there are times where speed can be your enemy.  Such as in the morning when getting dressed.
Most of us mimic a slow-moving cow in the morning; nothing short of the helicopter in the quote above is going to get us moving any faster- coffee hasn’t kicked in yet, bleary eyed, brain not fully functioning yet, perhaps a child or two following you around, rattling on about who-knows-what nonstop at the top of their lungs, tv blaring in the background, rushing, rushing… not conditions conducive to choosing a chic, flattering ensemble that subtly reflects your witty, worldly aesthetic.  More likely it’s the first thing on the top of the pile of clean, not-yet-folded clothes that doesn’t have Cheerios or dog fur stuck to it.
We’ve all heard about the wisdom of picking out your clothes the night before. Neurotically organized, right?  No.  I pick out my clothes the night before, and have never been accused of being neurotic.  Er, well, not neurotically organized, anyway.
I’m convinced that decisions within an hour and a half of getting up take longer simply because my brain is not yet engaged.  I am NOT a morning person.  Add to this the inevitable distracting variables of children, rushing, noise, etc., and not only will I take twice the time if I wait till morning, the choices I make won’t be my best. I will be covered with some sort of cloth, and that’s about the extent of it.  Often this approach leads to an aesthetic train wreck I have to live with the rest of the day.
If I choose my clothes the night before, my brain is in full swing, making my choices faster and sharper, my son is already in bed so distractions are limited, and I’m not rushing, so I’m calm.  I’ll ponder what I’ll be doing the following day, what the weather will be, exactly which accessories WILL express my ever so worldly wit, and so on, in peace and quiet.
And the next morning I have one less thing to stress me out and eat up my precious time. The end result is that I consistently look my fighting best every day, rather than like a cow that’s been dropped out of a helicopter…

Happy Dressing!